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scattered notes 3
I am writing one of those “I’m sorry I’ve been too busy to write” posts. My opinion is that if you don’t have time to post anything on your blog, don’t post anything on your blog. Leave ‘em guessing why you don’t have time to update. It’s better than a laundry list detailing your blah blah reasons you are busy. Actually was busy in "SPRINGFEST".Had a lots of fun will keep that to a different post.So bye.
My love !!
I know there's no way I can convince you this is True, but I don't care. I am me. I don't think I'll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. God is in the rain.It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Andrea. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Andrea did. I didn'tThen, I fell in love with a girl named Jessie. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Jessie holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free. I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Roses for me in our window box and our place always smelt of roses. Those were the best years of my life.then she left me !!
I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch... It is small, and fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you again, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, , I have roses, and apologized to no one...
Domino Effect
I suddenly had this feeling that everything was connected.
It's like I could see the
whole thing, one long chain of events;
that stretched all the way back before Dawn.
I felt like I could see everything that happened,
and everything that is going to happen.
It was like a perfect pattern,
laid out in front of me.
And I realized we're all part of it,
and all trapped by it.
There were no Coincidences.
There were no accidents !!
It's like I could see the
whole thing, one long chain of events;
that stretched all the way back before Dawn. I felt like I could see everything that happened,
and everything that is going to happen.
It was like a perfect pattern,
laid out in front of me.
And I realized we're all part of it,
and all trapped by it.
There were no Coincidences.
There were no accidents !!
Trust !!
A betrayal of trust
Something lost
Fear clouding my vision
Something I seldom give
It’s been trampled to the ground
I may never give it again.
Something lost
Fear clouding my vision
Something I seldom give
It’s been trampled to the ground
I may never give it again.
Heart Broken
silent tears cascade down my faceI breathe your name
A whisper, a sigh, i cry
How was i to know that kiss would be my last
How was i to know i would never again find sanctuary in your arms
I long for sleep but it never comes, no relief
The grasping, aching pain in my chest never subsides
I turn away
Closing my eyes to remember
I smile,
then die a little inside
i thought we were meant to be together,
against all the odds
How wrong was i?
A pang of jealousy, a twisted smile
The trigger takes on many forms
All i really want to say is,
i love you.
Still.
